I am alive...

I am on holidays
I have turned 40
I am having a great time
I will blog again soon.

Wednesday Haiku

Caught out by surprise.
Is that a present for me?
I like chocolate cake.

Unconscious Mutterings :: Week 364

1. Weak :: as piss
2. Flashy :: bling
3. Sack :: race
4. Business :: case
5. Purple :: people eater
6. Fan :: cool
7. Airline :: disaster
8. Guide :: book
9. Lunch :: box
10. Exercise :: regularly

You're a clown...

and you're not my ideal medical practitioner. Seriously, when I visit a doctor I really expect a level of professionalism.

The other day I visited my local eye care centre to have my eyes checked. All good except they didn't have the specialist equiptment needed to investigate the black spot in my vision. But their city centre did so yesterday I went to see a specialist there.

Waiting. I hate waiting rooms. This wasn't too bad I guess because I wasn't surrounded by sick looking sad people. Just healthy looking sad people. Anyhoo, the Dr comes out with his previous patient and apologises for being late, he said that I should really blame "her", pointing to his previous patient. "She was late, so now you're going to be late!" I said I didn't care less, at least I'm not at work.

He was a weird man. Very jovial. Too jovial for me. Everything was a joke to him. He did some tests wrote some stuff down on my file then wrote something on the prescription pad. He then said, "You know what? Screw this." and threw.the.pad.out.into.the.hall and said I didn't need a prescription. "You've got perfect sight, you don't need glasses." Well duh.

Yeah, I know... um but I still can't see out my right eye and they both are causing me pain every evening and morning so, let's get on with this please.

A few more tests, dye injections and colour lights flashing and he figured it out. He explained what the issue was, with diagrams. But frankly I can't even remember what he called my condition. I was not interested in listening to him any longer. It didn't sound serious and there was a simple solution of drops and massaging of the problem glands so why should I care what it's called. I just could not wait to get away from this most creepy man I've ever had to deal with.. and I've known some creeps!

Wednesday Haiku...

Sitting here unnoticed
Your tanned skin catches my eye
The sun peaks through clouds

I'm happy. People notice this. It's long but...

how often do I really give away anymore than a tiny snapshot?

Today I wasn't feeling crash hot. I seriously struggled to get out of bed. It hurt to move. My eyes were crusty. They hurt to open. Hurt even more to close again. I lay there in my bed. Looked at the time and still had half an hour until the alarm was to go off. For as long as I can remember I've been waking up before the alarm. Thoughts ran through my head like:

• I wonder what would happen if I didn't go into work?
• I could easily stay here because it doesn't hurt if I lay still and don't move.
• Stupid eyes.
• Oh crap, I'm going to have to move now anyway because I have to pee - badly.

It was that last thought that made me attempt to lift my head off the pillow. Ow. It was my torso moving that hurt as I lifted myself up. You know, I find when I make the decision to get up, there is nothing that will stop me. NOTHING. It's like: God help me if I change my mind now. To the loo. As I stand there, I have a few more moments to think.

• Geez, look at that. It's soooo yellow this morning.
  
• I wonder if not flushing during the night really makes a difference.
• I'm so sleepy, what if I didn't go to work today?
• I wonder if I could actually go back to sleep?

Nope. No chance. I had made the decision to get up. To my left, on the towel hooks, were my boardshorts. Ah-ha! Go for a swim. That will wake me up. I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and wandered to the beach. No shower, just mussy hair, pushed to one side from my pillow. Ol' sleepy head was out on the street walking to the beach. Mind you, this is 6:30am so it's not like I'm going to EVER bump into anyone.

The surf was a little rougher today than yesterday. Yesterday it was flat, I could see fish and stingrays swimming around me. Today - nothing. Just foam from the broken waves. But just the same as yesterday, and the day before, walking into the surf and picking just the right wave to dive under was refreshing.

Hey, have you ever noticed that down at the beach, at that time of morning, there are always the 65 plus crowd in the surf? They.are.always.there! I noticed this throughout the year. Even in winter. Actually, especially in winter. No one else even bothers to go in during winter, but they oldies are ALWAYS in the surf.

From out in the surf I glanced back to the HUGE clock on the side of the surf-club and realised that I better get a move on. I'm running late.

• Breakfast: Banana cut up in my home made muesli
• Quick glance online through my fave top design blogs
• Try to feed Blanket and Snuggie.
• Puzzled to figure out WHY Blanket and Snuggie have both stopped eating.

So to work. *insert sound: tape fast forwarding*My eyes hurt. I feel super tired. An "incident" at work has me BAFFLED. I wonder:

• My god, aren't YOU payed a fortune to.know.these.things?
• Hang on... I know the answer to this! I could probably show off a little here.
• I would like a coffee. Coffee coffee coffee.
• Hanging out with Mark is great.

What?!

• Hanging out with Mark is great.

By the end of today, the day I actually felt rather crap, I had three people tell me I look happy! Hmmm, I think about that...

• 10 days out from turning 40.
• FORTY.
• My eyes hurt. I really can't see stuff very well ( and my career depends on seeing!)
• People wonder why I haven't been riding my bike much

Oh -

• AND I am very happy.

I'm am so freakin' happy right now. It's a bizarre feeling.

I wrote this the other night:
Every now and then something good comes along.
Every now and then someone great comes along.
You know its good because you realise you're scared you'll lose it.
You realise you don't want to lose it because you KNOW you'll miss it when it's gone.
You realise this because you're lying there, thinking about it - holding your spare pillows, wishing it was them, and you're alone.
And you dread the day they leave your life.

I'm happy. People notice this.

Unconcious Mutterings :: Week 363

1. Resolutions :: 1024x768
2. Page :: number
3. Narrow :: passage
4. Refuse :: to do it
5. Fountain :: of youth
6. Grunt :: yeah, baby, make me...
7. Construct :: ion paper
8. Nightmare :: on Elm St
9. Inch :: by inch
10. Instant :: in an

Summer sun...

and getting out and enjoying it!

This weekend was my first full weekend at home that I've had to myself in ages. And it was a hot one too. Fantastic!

Ok, there were a couple of times where I really felt like some company, but to be able to just wander down to the beach and go for a dip was perfect. The ocean had mixed currents running along the coast this weekend and while the water remained nice and chilled, every now and then a really cold or warm pool of water would stream by. The ocean was flat and clean too.

When the water is calm like this you can see lots of fish swimming in and around you. This morning when I went down for a swim the water was still calm and as i walked into the ocean a small school of stingrays swam around my feet. At first I was a little startled because they were very hard to see against the colour of the sand, but they swam about and were very curious about me. One of then even stopped to have a little nibble/suck on the top of my foot. Creepy what.

Syrah Dolcetto...

She's my new best friend.
Actually, it's a type of red wine that I have fallen in love with. Why, why, why do I fall in love with these lesser known varieties of wine? I'm not even a red wine fan.

When it comes to wine, I seem to cling to what I know (and have known for ages). I like rich full wines. Merlots. Strong, slightly bitter yet smooth. I like that fullness in the mouth. Whites are more tricky. I like ice cold crisp dry wines. But, that's another story...

Meet Syrah Dolcetto. The most delicious red wine I have had in ages. Totally not what I go for. It's kind of like going for a blond if you're a brunet man or going for the bottom if you're usually on top... It's unexpected. Sweet. She's sweet and adds this amazing little super-fine tiny fizzy feeling on my tongue. She is different. Different to the other reds. I like that.

And she's not expensive. Win/win.

There is something fantastic about this movie...

and I LOVED it.

The Fantastic Mr Fox is a Roald Dahl story brought to life by one of my all time favourite directors, Wes Anderson.

The movie didn't go on forever like a lot of film's do these days (Avatar, I'm looking in your direction). It's a great story, very creatively animated, good music and just darn enjoyable to sit back and watch.

5 out of 5.

Unconscious Mutterings : Week 362

1. 365 :: Duh's in a year
   
2. Tombstone :: solid
3. Dumb :: dumb
4. Intrusive :: screaming child
   
5. Fat :: enemy
6. Axe :: wielding
7. Planned :: potential
8. Spike :: in volume
9. Bleach :: peroxide
10. Shopkeeper :: Mr Hooper

Highlights from New Years...

I had such a great New Year I thought I would summarise it:

• Flying into Ballina on Rex - Good service that the other airlines could look to for polite inspiration these days. Hey, passengers were even offered mints as we came into land.
• Arriving at the camp site in the show grounds.
• Seeing mates from Melbourne, Brisbane and Sydney all together to party.
• Then meeting new people.
• Not needing to care about anything.
• Fireworks that went on.. and on and on.
• Chatting to a few lads for the first time even though I've wanted to say hi for ages
• Watching the sky turn from black to daylight
• Helping the hopeless twinky lad in the tent next to me understand he had his gear on inside out.
• Laughing at the clueless twinks who were so wrapped up in themselves to care about anyone else.
  
• The young lesbian who thought we could help her find a girl who wasn't too old, who doesn't wear make-up, who was not butch, and awake at 5 in the morning (Kind of an impossible challenge don't you think?).
• Feeling a little wrecked and jumping into a pool and feeling alive again.
• Feeling comfortable in my skin.
• Having the bar manager server us a cheeky beer before the bar opened.
• Dancing 'til the sweat literally ran down my body.
• Then feeling the tingle of cool rain on my skin.
  
• Dancing to Kate Bush's "King of the Mountain".
• Watching everyone just have a bloody good time.