For me, the month will start with another “costume” party and end with a weekend away in the Whitsundays. The sweet gooey centre time in the middle will be filled with laughs and lots of getting out and having fun – the weather is going to be fantastic here in Sydney. I’ve even folded up my jumpers and sweatshirts and put them away in the cupboard. Bye-bye winter, I had a great time with you, but really, we both want different things and it’s time for me to get over you and enjoy my blossoming relationship with spring.
But what a month September has turned out to be. An enormous amount of work has helped the month fly by so fast that I really feel like I've missed a lot of it. Where did it go? Personal inroads have been made and realisations have awakened some lost emotions within me. I've invited readers into my lounge, I've was inked, I bared more than just my sole, I professionally sold a photo and re-discovered my love for drinking copious litres of beer with someone who I feel like I can be open with in person.
I even shared some of this here in this very public domain that is blogging.
9,844 runners in this event.
I am sooooooo average:
Overall I placed 4,212th.
Let me just state that again, Four Thousand two hundred and twelfth!
*sigh* I so wish I was "good" at something, not just average.
I was the 2,394th male to cross the line.
And, finished 860th in the male 30-39 category.
Oh boy, have I got some work to do. . .
Dave, I'm so sorry, but it's not all about "just participating"... I would love/have a strong desire to be better than average.
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Ok, I just did some further analysis of the results and based on my time I came 3,699th. So, out of close to 10,000 runners, I can be satisified with that result.
Oh, and another big cheer to Monty for txting through that result before I had had a chance to sit back with a few beers and a mate to watch what was going to be one of the best races of the season. Boy, was I happy to get that txt... NOT! Grrrrrr. Monty, you will be severely reprimanded on Tuesday night!
After I had a moment to calm down and my blood stopped boiling from THAT txt I happened to see that Stoner hadn't actually won the race so I managed to gain some composure and ended up watching one of the most exciting races of the season. It had everything that all the other races lacked thus far. We had jumped starts and penalties, we had a wet track, we had riders coming off, we had pit stops for bike changes... Bike changes! It was an awesome race.
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And to other race news...
I managed to do a personal best time in Sydney's Bridge Run. I completed the race with no problems and managed to run the entire distance without walking. I'm bloody happy with myself.
Below is the graph of my progress. I started this journey on 1/08/07 and my average pace was 8'33"/km and I could only run/walk 3.55km in half an hour. Yesterday I did close to 10km at an average pace of 5'15"/km in 51min49sec. Twice during yesterday's run my pace dropped below the 5 minute mark. Those sub 5min times were recorded at the 3km mark and right at the end when my happy hormones kicked in. I'm pleased at my progress and even more pleased to be able to say that I've competed in and completed a race. I'm now confident that I can give this season's adventure races a good go.
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In the Truth or Dare Post, you mentioned that you already cross paths (or may have) with your soul mate. I wonder if you could tell us more?
You seem a free spirit and to have a high energy level as evident of your travels and active life. Have you always been that way or have you experienced some financial success that only recently allows for such a lifestyle?
I've always had an active and adventurous life. I do thrive on it. I had spent from 1996 to February this year living with the same person. He was someone who I could share my adventures with and who I really adored, and if the truth be told, I still do to this day. We had many adventures together and led a bit of a life that was once described as the "pepsi max" lifestyle. We were ultra compatible. We laughed together at the same things, we listened to the same music, and we loved diving and mountain biking together. We learnt to surf together, we travelled together, we enjoyed socialising together and we shared the same friends together. We did everything together… This possibly proved to be our downfall. We had lost a certain amount of our individuality. We were truly devoted to each other and each other’s needs. No one could crack our bond. Or so I thought.
We were ultra protective of our relationship but we were also careless with it. We were filling every second of our time out of work with an activity. Most of the time I was happy to go along with whatever my partner suggested. You see, I just loved doing things with him. It wasn't about the stuff we were doing, it was the fact that I had a buddy to do things with. But when one of us decided to not go along the whole weekend would be canceled and both of us would miss out and I would sulk around at home. This usually ended with us heading to a local pub and drinking to get over our moody time at home then re-grouping for a big hug. This worked well for us for a while. But towards the end we began to resent each other for deciding what the other person was doing. Even worse for me was that it was becoming more obvious that my suggestions for things to do were being rejected more frequently. It was an easier option to not suggest something that I wanted to do and just go along with his suggestions. After all, I was doing things I liked with the guy I was in love with. However, my confidence in my own ideas being worthy was slowly being eroded and my dependence on his suggestions for things to do was growing.
I was losing myself to the relationship. We needed external stimuli. My partner and I looked for an influence who we could do things together with and also alone when one of us wasn't interested… We were making some new friends. I had managed to somehow find someone who I was very compatible with and who fired my imagination and creativity. That's something my partner was unable to do for me. I began to spend a lot of time with my new found friend. We would have to have our own adventures together because no one else understood our creative mischievous leanings. We would wag work together and hang out in the sun in the local cemetery and talk about our art. We quickly and briefly became cohorts and “underground street artists”. We did some very creative outdoor projects together, including one daring piece of mid evening street art that covered the whole hoarding of a building on the main street in full public view. I was being adventurous in a whole new way and I was loving it. We were even being mistaken for being "partners" - we were nothing but partners in crime. Then an evil green eyed monster came wrapping at my relationship’s door and he was ready to put up a fight. I lost that fight and in the process lost the greatest influence on my life. I struggled to recover and instead of just moving on I chose the path of resentment. My partner and I both had lost some respect for each other and I was hurting deeply. Strangely, my reaction to this was to build a façade around my life and I fell deeper into dependence on my partner to provide me with the adventure I needed. On we went even further into cramming things to do into every spare moment.
A year or so later two major events happened that were to change my relationship forever. My partner introduced me to one of his friends he had met online and I bought myself a motorbike. My partner’s friend was also a biker and the three of us hit it off and we were inseparable. We spent many happy nights together and even holidays. My confidence and independence were growing daily now that I had my own wheels. I could go where ever and when ever I wanted. I had some new freedom where I was fully myself and every decision I was making was for me and me alone. I really liked the independence. So long as we were honest about where and when we were going and about what we were doing everything seemed ok. But the doorbell of our relationship rang once more and who was standing there? That green eyed monster. But this time it was me who had invited him in. This time we wouldn’t recover.
It hurt me, more than I can ever explain, to have found out from a third party that my partner and my friend were together being less than honest with me about the time they spent together. My heart was broken and my reaction lacked the cool that I had previously been able to maintain. The end of this chapter in my life was written. It was both our fault that we didn’t survive this. I’m positive that we really could have resolved this had we not been two stubborn men and had I not reacted the way I did. But, at that time, I could not find it in my heart to forgive this break in my trust and, above all else, our loyalty.
What did I gain from this?
Fear: Not always a bad thing. Fear is a good warning so long as we acknowledge it and deal with it. However, I now fear this happening in my life again. The flipside -
Strength: The ability to voice my desires without fear. A sense that I am responsible to no one but myself for how I feel and how I react. The burning desire to not lose my growing individuality and that I should rely on me.
Knowledge: I have an ability to believe in myself and when I do the most wonderful things can happen. I have learnt to trust my gut feelings. I have learnt that my gut feelings are worth telling people about. I know that I can have an adventure all on my own... but I've learnt I just love sharing with someone who too is really into the adventure.
Confidence: This is where my free spirit grows. I know that having a desire to do something is not enough, you have to accept opportunities as they come along and say “yes” more than you would say “no”.
Friendship: I have special people in my life now that I trust unreservedly. I want to share adventures with them and they invite me to be part of their adventures. These friendships are what now fosters my sense of adventure and creativity. I enjoy sharing all of this with those people who are special to me.
Oh, and a fuckin' hot and sexy tattoo on my bicep that says "LOYALTY".
The answer to the last question is that I've always had an adventurous life, but recently I've been given opportunities to acknowledge and trust myself to knock it up a notch. I’m still a big kid at heart.
I know I have a lot to share with anyone who gives me the honesty and respect that I know I deserve.
So, I guess this is the toast I raise my glass to:
But, that is exactly what I can say today. Ok, this may be a little misleading. I wasn't in any motorsport race, it was the Edgell Bathurst Jog. My first fun run. But, a fun run is still one of my milestones that I wanted to achieve this year. It was an 8km run and I managed to complete it in 46 minutes. Probably finishing mid pack. It's given me a little boost of confidence in my running ability and I'm looking forward to next Sunday's 9km Sydney Bridge Run.
I spent the weekend in Bathurst visiting my good friends and catching up on the past few months. It was great to also have the chance to go on a decent long ride on my bike, get the revs up and clear some "city riding" cobwebs out of her engine. So to celebrate, I took my bike onto the Bathurst circuit and parked on the starting grid and took a photo. It was just the greatest weekend. Super big grin on my face this morning.
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I expect honest comments. Take your pick. Root, shoot or marry:
Biker Muzbot: He's a dark character. Hiding under that black leather exterior and that 'powerful engine between his legs' lies a sexy beast who is willing to push things to the edge. His motto is "Go hard and fast or go home."
Adventure Muzbot: He's eager and willing. Sometimes nervous but always happy to be facing any challenge. He's outdoorsy and loves nothing better than getting rough and dirty. A few bumps and bruises are only reminders of the fun that you just had. "Just give it a go" is his motto.
Creative Professional Muzbot: He's good at keeping things in perspective and expects results. He's got a good heart and loves to mentor where possible. His motto is "Fine, are we done? Can we just move on now?"
Take these arms that were made for lovin'
And this heart that will beat for two
Take these eyes that were meant for watching over you
And I've been such a long time waiting
For someone I can call my own
I've been chasing the life I'm dreaming
Now I'm home
I need your love
Like night needs morning
Come, come, come into my world
Won't you lift me up, up, high upon your love
I know, it's mundane, but it's mine. This is my lounge room as it stands right at this moment.
see this zip.
So, here we go:
Q: Have you ever had sex with a woman?
A: Yes. I have even been close to walking down the aisle. Her family circumstances meant that we had to move away from each other for some time, and the long distance relationship became unsustainable.
Q: Did you 'Simpsonize' yourself? (I know this wasn’t a real question)
A: No, actually one of the guys at work did it for me and my whole team.
Q: Have you ever made love/shagged/kissed anyone in your leathers.
A: Yes to all the above. I love my bike and my gear. In fact, I have even had the one of my full one-piece suit’s front zip modified so that it un-zips a little further. ( *big grin* ) I’m definitely not ashamed to say that sports bike gear makes me feel very masculine and I do feel sexy in it.
Q: What is your favourite color and why?
A: Very difficult one to answer. My first thought is green, however, blue was always my fave colour growing up. Blue is a special colour because it can portray more emotion than any other. Green is now my fave colour because it has the most amazing strength in all its hue range. It is fresh and it is strong. Although, I’m not a fan of wearing green.
Q: Do you like to body surf?
A: Yes. Love it. My dad was a lifesaver and I can remember being taught to body surf by him at a very young age. I’m not really a huge fan of hanging out at the beach, but when I get there and in the water I’m very happy and love feeling the swell and flow of water around me. I love feeling the surge of the wave push me head-first towards the beach.
Q: Your bike or booze - choose one or die…
A: Bike. Way too easy. Depending on how I’m riding, I can get the biggest thrill and enjoyment out of my bike. It is adrenalin pumping, relaxing and liberating.
Q: Should we start thinking up dares, or am I being premature?
A: Premature… Although, I was hoping to take at least one dare!
Q: How old is Kylie Minogue REALLY?
A: No idea. I’m more a Dannii man. :) I used to work with Kylie at the same record label back in the mid 90’s and I’m trying to remember any of the conversations about her age but nothing is coming to mind. I’ll have a guess that she turned 39 this year because, from memory, I think she may be two years older than me.
Q: What kind of guy is "your type"? :)
A: Great question YaniBoy. Briefly: Adventurous and creative. Someone with passion. I really respect these qualities. As for looks, well, that is a hard one to put my finger on. I’m into fit masculine characteristics. I love a cheeky smile with a mischievous look in the eyes. Someone who I can go to the local pub with and just blend in.
Q: Do you have a partner or special friend and if so, what is their name?
A: Crispo59, I have a special friend. In fact I have a couple of special friends. But, to answer your question – You better start thinking of a dare!
Q: Top or bottom?
A: Top. I’d happily eat the top off a muffin any day. Does that answer your question Darth? Or shall I suggest you too think of a dare?
Q: Do you ever wonder if your "soul mate" has already crossed your path & if so, do you know of his whereabouts?
A: Sh@ney, this question makes me feel a little bit of pain and sadness. I actually believe my soul mate may have already crossed my path and I was lucky enough to share 10 years on that path with them. However, our paths were not looked after or maintained and we both lost our way. Maybe one day I’ll come across someone else’s path and they too may just be my soul mate. *Sigh.*
Q: What are you thinking when you smile at me?
A: I never imagined that we would have met and that I would have had the chance to chat with you. I used to see you out and about on the streets of Newtown or in the pub and always wanted to say “hi”, but often thought that we were two worlds apart. So now when I see you I smile because I’ve met you and I’m glad I have.
Q: You seem a free spirit and to have a high energy level as evident of your travels and active life. Have you always been that way or have you experienced some financial success that only recently allows for such a lifestyle?
A: Hmmm… A great question but I think the answer requires a post all to itself. Hold this thought and I will get back with the response. It’s very personal to me.
Q: Where do you go and what do you see, when you close your eyes?
A: Into my memories and from them grow the possibilities of what I can create for my future.
Q: Have you ever marched for Gay Rights??
A: No. I’m not proud and I’m often confused about it. I’m really not the best ambassador.
Q: "Hey Muz, how about you? Have you ever done it in the bush?"
Ok, so I could be more detailed in my answer, but then they didn't ask for details.
So, go ahead... and if I I choose to not answer, then I'll give you the option to dare me to do something... So long as the dare is not going to break any laws. Are you going to play with me?
Just a quick update: I'm over the moon tonight because I actually achieved one of my goals. And that was to jog from work to home without stopping. Woohoo! Not bad for a month's effort considering I had last week off because of illness. I'm a happy lad.
Onto more important things...
Stoner won. Again! Woohoo! I haven't caught up with the news of what happened to Rossi as yet, but it appeared that his bike was having engine problems. With Rossi recording a DNF for this race it leaves Stoner a clear run for the championship this season. Vermeulen finished second so that's two Aussies on the podium! Another Woohoo! Philip Island is going to be one hell of a race this year. Yamaha is still sitting in 3rd on the Constructor table. Hear that Judo... Ahead of Suzuki! :) Although, I have to admit that I enjoyed the short ride I had on your Suzi early this morning. It's sounding sweet.
1. Flip to page 18, paragraph 4 in the book closest to you right now, what does it say?
First, understand who you are, what you want, and what drives you. Self-understanding is the first step towards building self-control. Practicing self-discipline while climbing constructs habits of mind that begin to kick in automatically as experience grows. With experience comes self-confidence, a prerequisite for tackling extreme climbs in the great ranges. (I had to pick page 19 because page 18 had a full page picture. "Extreme Alpinism - a guide to climbing light, fast and High" - Mark F Twight)
2. If you stretch out your left arm as far as possible, what are you touching?
3. What’s the last program you watched on TV?
4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
10:55am (bugger - it's 11am)
5. Aside from the computer, what can you hear right now?
Birds and the sound of the traffic on the street below.
6. When was the last time you were outside and what did you do?
About half an hour ago. Was riding my bike back from gym and breakfast.
7. What are you wearing?
Scotland Rugby jersey and my fave Mooks black shorts
8. Did you dream last night? If you did, what about?
I can't remember my dream from last night. I think I was awake for a lot of the night thanks to a couple of young lovers going for it in the room next to mine.
9. When was the last time you laughed?
Last night. Yes, I had a good laugh. I was happy and content.
10. What’s on the walls, in the room you’re in right now?
2 large posters of my a couple of my photos. One of a glacier and one of a lone climber on a ridge heading down from Mt Blanc.
11. Have you seen anything strange lately?
Ummmmm... yes, the number of people who took the time to go out and have evening picnics to watch to eclipse this week. It was great to see people taking the time to have a few beers or glasses of wine socialising and making a night of it.
12. If you could change ONE THING in this world, without regard to politics or bad guilt, what would it be?
That I would have super powers so I could then use my powers for good and change more than one thing. Although, I know if I had super powers I wouldn't be good all the time.
13. Do you like dancing?
Yes, but I'm not great at it.
14. What do you want your children’s names to be, girl/boy?
Boy: Josh - Girl: Madi
15. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes, absolutely. Sure I would always come home to Oz, but I would love to live in Paris and Barcelona for a little while because I love the people, heritage and culture in both those places.