Usually when I hit Coles it's after work and I'm just popping in to pick up something for dinner. Rarely is it on a Friday morning.
There's a different breed of shopper who visit Coles on a weekday morning. They are usually women and they are weird. Not weird in a loopy way, weird in a friendly flirty way. Actually, no, maybe it is a loopy way...
woman1: MMmmm, don't these potatoes look good.
Me: (thinking: Ummm, they're just potatoes) Yeah, they'll go good with my lamb shanks tonight.
woman1: You know, you look just like my science teacher
Me: (thinking, "you look older than my Mum!") thanks, I think.
2 aisles later:
woman2: It's hard to choose isn't it?
Me: (looking for a certain type of Jelly-baby, thanks to Mark reminding me how good they tasted): Hehe yeah. I just want some Jelly Babies and can't find any.
woman2: I'm sure we can find you some babies...
Checkout, as I pour the contents of my basket onto the conveyer:
woman3: (pointing to my 2l bottle of water) What are you buying that for?
Me: Ummm, excuse me?
woman3: Bottled water. What's wrong with the stuff that comes out of the tap?
Me: Oh, I drink from the tap all the time. I just lean over the sink and go for it. This is for my fish.
woman3: (stunned silence)
I think I'll avoid Coles on a weekday in future.